Monday, April 20, 2009
is sophie getting smaller? i wish i had started taking photos with sophie earlier, but oh well. i'm not disciplined enough. i tried to take a belly photo every week, but i lost my resolve at about week 34. one of these days i'll make a collage of them for this blog.
leon is 8 weeks old now, and all i can say is that he is I-N-T-E-N-S-E. i don't want to say he's difficult, or 'bad,' because really, it's just that he's easily bored and very impatient (like his mom). things haven't gotten easier in terms of his personality, but we sleep more and breastfeeding is less difficult--although i had to pump the past two nights in order to prevent engorgement yet again.
maybe extra sleep makes his behavior more tolerable for me. or maybe i'm getting used to his outbursts. but what i thought was slow improvement 3 weeks ago has stalled, maybe even regressed. i've put him in a sling, jiggled, whooshed, sung, strolled, cuddled, danced, rocked, swaddled, tummy timed, bathed, walked away, counted to 10, and started all over again.
i'm not sure what to do about his intense need to suck. not a huge fan of pacifiers (they get dirty, cover his adorable face, etc...). i have this paranoid fear that he will become dependant on them for soothing. but at the same time, this human pacifier is becoming increasingly worn out. so, i'm basically waiting, hoping he'll start sucking his fist. in the meantime, a finger is offered when he's particularly inconsolable. for the most part, though, constant work on my part to keep the Gummi Bear amused has been successful.
this just means that i've done absolutely no work since he was born. 8 weeks of trying out various soothing methods, wondering whether my decision to postpone/forgoe the bottle and the pacifier is going to set my dissertation back. wondering whether i'll actually finish the thing and graduate in a year. receiving a letter from Sallie Mae about my undergrad loan deferment, worrying that i'm not doing enough for my career, for leon.
so, i have a guest lecture to give in 9 days for my adviser's class on suburbs. i'm going to present part of a chapter that i haphazardly wrote while in labor. it should be pretty lowkey, but i've procrastinated long enough. if the weather holds today, i might go to the nursery to buy plants for the deck with leon and my mom (she's leaving friday). but really, i need to get work done. it's just difficult to step away from leon when he's either crying or smiling. boy, i wish he would nap more during the day.