Monday, December 27, 2010

catching up





leon at twenty-two months.

from a word here and there to stringing along two and three words into honest to god sentences (of a sort). no-cat-up-hill ("get off the table, cat"). mine-turn-choo-choo. appah-no-come ("go away, dad"). he speaks a mish-mash of english (ninety percent) and korean (five percent). the rest is incomprehensible, a secret language that i have yet to learn. "phway" for "other side" or "that way", which is typically used when nursing and asking to switch sides. yes, still nursing. yes, still waking 2-4 times between midnight and seven a.m. no, not sure when he's going to wean. we'll re-evaluate at two years, but i suspect he'll go for as long as he wants. maybe he's actually mongolian and will nurse until he's nine!

he's impossibly beautiful. i think maybe i'm allowed to say that. and it breaks my heart to think i can't always stare at him, grab his ear and pinch it gently before kissing his cheek. hungrily. and he's too thin. he's such a picky eater--always has been--and it's amazing that i still feel insulted by his refusal to eat. the worst is when he opens his mouth for a bit and then shuts it quickly in order to bat away the food. i don't know why it bothers me so much more than the sleep issue, but it drives me irrationally mad.

i don't understand how he's growing so quickly. some days i think he would be the perfect only child. other days i'm baby hungry. i did not expect to feel these things.

11 comments:

agoandiga said...

lovely lovely post. and no, your feelings for your firstborn will never change. not even when he's 5 and mouthy and you've got a Number 2 who is just as remarkable and just as loved. that first child, my god... the emotional investment in that child... it's the most beautiful and heart-wrenching relationship in the world.

valerie said...

oh how i've missed leon updates! thank you thank you for sharing. what a big kid you've got there, erika. wow. and yes, so beautiful.

i can relate to being irrationally upset over the baby not eating. i wonder how much of it has to do with the continued nursing. at 17.5 months, alden is still a nursing fanatic and does so every few hours at night as well. sometimes i wish he would just stuff himself full of food...ah well. some day.

spoon said...

lovely post. My boy was always fussy eater ..not really fussy, he just could go ahead without eating, I could kill my self trying, making it fun, making a show of it, being soft/tough, but nothing really worked out. I stopped nursing at his 1st Birthday, however I was back at work at his 9months so there wasnt much left to do...

erica said...

i often wonder if leon's access to nursing has kept him from eating and drinking much else. he is a stubborn child. we'll see what happens when he weans (please before he's three, god!).

Nat said...

Great post! I've heard bilingual kids do the mash up and take a little longer to get to coherent sentences but it is worth it! He is such a perfect mix of the two of you. I can't believe he's almost 2!! Congrats on surviving this far!

jones said...

he really is impossibly beautiful.

ola appletea said...

lovely!!! I agree on relathionship... it's amazing! I have something like this with my 2,5 Mia babygirl!

Kids are awesome!

Have a great Day! Ola

Eugenia Bell said...

I've followed your travails with Leon with such interest b/c they mirror my own with my son, who just turned three a few days ago. We have had exactly the same issues with food (and sleep, until I just broke down and 'trained' him not to wake for nursing at night, at about 2). E is still funny about the food he deigns to eat, eats it when he's hungry, is 'too' skinny, but very happy and healthy and I have just stopped worrying about it (which makes it no less frustrating). All this to say: I weaned him only three weeks ago after almost getting there in August (we had a relapse when we traveled abroad for a month). While the eating doesn't seem improved (yet), what I think weaning has affected greatly is in the diminishing of tantrums and general moodiness. It was hard, it was bittersweet, and b/c he will be my only kid, I was happy to indulge, but in many ways we were both ready—and you'll know when you are. Best of luck.

Wendy Wong said...

Hi,

I read your blog from time to time primarily on wardrobe planning but wanted to comment on this post because a friend of mine has the same problem with her daughter concerning weaning and night wake ups. It's now April 2011 and if Leon is not weaned, YOU MUST STOP NOW! I'm also a mother of a 26 month old girl and after I stopped breastfeeding, she slept through the night and continues to sleep very well and her overall behavior also changed for the better. It took a week of kicking and screaming but I assure you, if you remain consistent it will work. It's a matter of breaking the habit. Hope to read on your next post that you are free of breast feeding, he is sleeping through the night and you are more relaxed. Much empathy and love.

t said...

Cute pics!

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Elizabeth Buckler said...

Leon is absolutely gorgeous. My son will be taught Tagalog as well as English, I'm curious to see how this goes. Interesting to read about the clash of words.