Saturday, April 21, 2012
the kid
at what point is my child no longer a toddler?
the first time they place baby brother on my chest?
the first time my newly postpartum self tried to carry him and the weight was too much?
the first time he cuddled in my lap and there still didn't seem to be enough room?
leon and i have been sharing a bed since the night before elias was born. we have had emotional fights and absurdist arguments. in many ways the past three weeks haven't been about my relationship with elias -- or even matthew. the past three years have centered on my sweet boy. how do we find room for everyone on this metaphorical bed?
recovery has been slower than i would like. all that calm and patience evaporated when i started pushing elias out. j have become even more impatient since then. maybe it's because elias is gaining weight and growing more quickly than leon did at this stage (7lbs 10oz at birth, 8lbs 14oz at 19 days), maybe it's because leon seems enormous to me, all kid no toddler, but i feel like i need to hurry to catch up with my boys.
*why can't i upload photos from my phone when posting on the darn thing?*
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5 comments:
I hear you on all counts. While the first two weeks were pretty calm for us, it really kicked for little Hugh after he realized the baby was here to stay. It's really hard with two. I keep hearing it will get easier, eventually, but for now sometimes it's near-impossible -- especially when you're alone with them. I don't know how full-time moms do it.
Wyatt was 7lbs 10oz, too!
Wishing you guys all the best. One day at a time...
I think warmer weather will help...I really could not survive without daycare right now. I have a stack of papers to grade and a newborn who wants to be held all the time. I'm looking for used baby Bjorns in the hopes that being hands free will be more productive. I really dont know how moms manage round the clock baby care.
oh it's so crazy. I can so relate to this post. Even with #3 at 4.5 months, my relationship with #2 is all over the place. It's day by day on the patience and the total juggling act that goes on 24/7. Do you have a moby wrap? I borrowed one and that seriously helped in those early weeks.
thank you for your honesty in your writing .
i think of you and your family several times a week...
sending love,
eve
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